The fear

So stress..stress, envy seeing my friends who study the other college, they all so relaxing..
Not like me, when having fun around still thinking about study, assignment...
Not only that, got other stuff disturbing me..

Mama, im so scare, why i can't be like others, live with happily and peacefully..
no need to doubt this and that, no need to be over worry, think something negative..
Plz when you want let me go? Why you're still hoping for something?
Is so scary seeing you like this and im know you're cursing me =(

Im just a normal girl, i don't wish to fight, don't wish to quarrel..
I know what you're doing even someone doesn't know, but i keep my one eye close one eye open.. Hope that you will notice what you're doing and realise it isn't right,but you're getting over, one and once hurting me, treat me like invisible, I feel so numb.. Don't know what to do,Never happen this in my life before, really can't handle this..

Thought time pass and you will be wake up someday..
But you're not, still want something from me..
I can't do anything if you insist to do that..
Im scare..really, i don't want to be so complicated..
I really want to be give up and let you win, but i can't, not willing to..

I'm praying, hope one day you will put down all the burden and understand what you're doing,
To start a new life and me, to continue my precious life..
Let it go~~~ im not intend to do something bad on you..
I wish "you" understand my situation, i don't know how to handle this..
I hope "you" be my side all the time, i ady feel happy